I am like God
By Sherri O’Toole
When the Holy Spirit points out my self-centeredness, as He has done for years, I can be chagrinned but subtly dismissive. “I know, I hate when that happens, but that’s the way I am. Isn’t everyone?” My denial is not so much that I am self-centered, but that I am dismissing its weightiness. I don’t want to see it as an attempt to take for myself what belongs to God.
“I will be like God.”–how presumptuous, how treacherous, how evil. Lucifer’s fall brings to mind a dark, malevolent genius plotting a coup, yet the Bible pictures him as a beautiful, gifted creature full of himself. He tempted Eve with that same promise. “You will be like God.” We are now all born full of ourselves.
“But I would NEVER try to take God’s place.”
When praying, I have rushed through the obligatory beginning praises to get to the requests; eager to ask God to do what I want.
MY WILL BE DONE.
I can try to phrase a request in such a way that a ‘yes’ answer will be more likely.
IN MY WAY.
I can insist, over and over, to hurry things along.
IN MY TIME.
I have tried to do it myself.
IN MY POWER.
I have loved attention and compliments.
FOR MY GLORY
Self centeredness is not just a spiritual gaffe, a petty, ugly, embarrassing flaw that should not be seen in Christian polite society. It is the very spring, the core of sin for which Jesus died. He, who was God, became also man, voluntarily submitting to the Father to earn our righteousness and dying to earn our pardon. No matter how hard I try, I can’t remove my SELF from the center of my concern.
I can only hide in Him. He has freely granted pardon, and imparted righteousness. Someday He will share His glory. May the Holy Spirit keep holding my feet to the fire to keep me confessing and relying on Him.
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